It has been amazing to see and feel God's love the past couple weeks. He has been meeting my needs before I even knew what I needed and it has caused a TON of reflection on my part.
I have discovered that I am prideful-yikes! When others have offered me help previously I have always refused it or felt guilty for needing it. Why, you may ask? Why would anyone turn down any help? After really digging deep I realized this was because I thought I shouldn't need help. I should always have it all together, right? I should be helping others and have the perfect life, right? Uh, um- pride, pride and more pride!
Recently our family has been under an extraordinary amount of stress and change. At first, I fell into my old habit of denying help and struggling to keep it all together myself. The help we did receive was forced on us (now that's great friends and family-ignoring my protests!) and followed by the feeling of guilt and inadequacy.
Thankfully God in his grace and mercy did not stop sending help my way and he completely changed my perspective. I am now SO THANKFUL for all the people who have stepped forward and are supporting us. It has been a blessing to see the body of Christ at work. What a privilege it is to have an up front view of peoples strengths and willingness to love on us.
This past week at church we sang a song that is quickly becoming a favorite for me. Oh how he loves me. He sees my family's needs and is meeting them. It AMAZES me. How he loves. When I think about how true that statement is, it brings me to tears. He loves me. Not just that he does, but he acts on it. I can see and feel his love for me in the simplest ways. A phone call from a dear friend at just the right moment. A text with words of encouragement. An offer for babysitting. A mom who flies out frequently to help out. Three kids who have been adjusting incredibly well to all the changes. People, whom he has placed in our lives, who are on their knees for us. The offer of meals, help cleaning, help shoveling snow, I could go on and on! Oh, how he loves.
For now, where we are, I am going to graciously and gratefully accept the help, knowing that is season will pass.
For now, I will rejoice and praise God. For his goodness. For how he loves.