Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Confessions of a Tired Mommy

Today was rough.  
Moriah has been sick since Friday night and the poor baby just wants to be held in the night.  She just wants me to cuddle her and rock her and sing to her all night long.  I am loving all the cuddling, and it makes me think of how big she is getting.  She is so busy during the day that I don't get much cuddles.  It makes me think of all the times she was an infant and would sleep on my chest and I would just breathe in her sweetness.  I miss those days.  It makes me even more excited for Levi to come into the world.
Anyway, while I am not angry with Moriah for keeping me up at night, I am exhausted.  I know it is not her fault that she is sick and needs comforting.  I love that she finds peace in my arms.  I just totally broke down today from the exhaustion of three nights without sleep (and hormones I am sure).  
The morning started out slow, I had a hard time getting the energy to get myself moving.  By the time I took a shower, got Moriah ready, cleaned up what she got into while I was showering, blow dried my hair (I thought about skipping this step and then remembered how COLD is it here and didn't want to get sick), got our stuff ready and got downstairs, I was completely drained.  I will confess, I yelled at the dog to get in his cage and when he didn't comply, I yelled again.  Moriah was taken back my my unusual behavior and just stood back watching.  I just sat on the dinning room floor and cried.
Why was I crying?  I can't honestly tell you.  I was tired, ashamed of yelling, and frustrated that I couldn't seem to even make it to the grocery store.  Moriah was such a little sweetie and showed me love.  She reached her arms up and asked me "uggles?" to see if I wanted her to snuggle me.  Her gesture made me cry even more.  What a wonderful baby I have!  After some snuggles (still on the dinning room floor) she offered to get me some juice.  She loves her juice and finds it comforting, so she wanted me to have it.  Ahhh, I love her.  
Needless to say, we never made it to the store.  I spent the rest of the morning on the couch reading to my baby and resting.  After lunch we both took naps and then ventured out to my prenatal appointment (everything is right on track, Levi is growing and we are set to deliver any day now!).  
Now, my little girl is sleeping peacefully (I am praying it lasts all night), Zack is at band practice, and I just got done enjoying a bowl of ice cream.  I am still tired but not crying, and holding onto the promise that I will have this baby, I will get sleep someday (and enough to get me by for now), I am so blessed with an amazing hubby (he just hugged on me at lunch after he heard about my "melt down," no condemnation only love, support and advice to do nothing the rest of the day) and a sweet tender hearted daughter.  

I am ready for another day.  I hope to make it to the store in the morning.  Shopping try take two...       

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